Kristen: 0:36

Hey everybody. Welcome back. Super excited today about my guest and my topic. So it's Tiffany. Hi, Tiffany. Hi. How are you? I am doing well. For anybody who hasn't met you yet, do you wanna give a quick little intro of who you are and what you're about?

Tiffany: 0:55

my name's Tiffany Patterson. I work with women. I'm a certified natural health professional. I'm an angelic reiki master teacher, and I'm also a certified life transformational coach. one of the things I've been bolding into doing in 2025 is shaking up people's worlds and realities bringing awareness into their field so they can step into their own truth, alignment, and start living a thriving life that supports them and their families, regardless what society or the world has to say. And so I'm really excited because one of the topics that we're going to talk about tonight is one of my absolute favorites because I think it's one of the most voided topics ever, and I'm ready to really break the mold on that and start. shattering people's glass ceilings and creating a huge movement with women and this topic. So I'm really excited. Thanks for having me.

Kristen: 1:45

I love it. So when I think of Tiffany, I think of girl power on steroids. she is all about having women come into their own empowerment and understanding what they can do and what they're capable of. And that's what I love so much about it. the topic that we've been hinting around and haven't mentioned yet, it's going to be, money, wealth, redefining success and really breaking the mold of some of the stereotypes that are around women and money. any opening thoughts on that, Tiffany, before we dive in?

Tiffany: 2:17

I really love this topic because I think it's one we avoid the most. people don't like to talk about money, politics, or religion. that's one of the things that I'm like, you know what? we are going to start talking about financial wellness, and we're gonna start bringing in magic and power and religion and all the things into this mold, because that's what we first started doing here in the Americans. That's why people came to the United States. And it's then now all of a sudden it's yeah, we don't talk about that no more, kind of thing. So I'm really excited about this.

Kristen: 2:46

So I love it. How would you say now, like how is it that society teaches women to be responsible with money while encouraging men to take financial risks? That's been a culture thing for a while, oh, sit there, be safe with your money. But men, it's yeah, go out, buy the thing, take the risk. What are your thoughts on how society teaches that and how it's different?

Tiffany: 3:07

Yeah. So I feel like we've really been put on like that doubled standard because we are taught to really be responsible and for the longest time, women were supposed to be seen and not heard. women weren't allowed to have the jobs. They weren't allowed to go and fight the wars. They weren't allowed to go and have all the things back in the day. And we've been a beautiful continuation of women just stepping up, claiming their power, their voice, claiming their worth, and now it's time to start taking it to the next level because we've done really well, I feel and, moving forward and having women be more empower and driven, but there's still some things that we aren't technically allowed to. In control of. And so I feel as women, we've been fed some serious just crap about when it comes to money, what we can and can't do and what's acceptable and what's not acceptable. And as you said, men, it doesn't matter. the doors are wide open, whereas women have to work harder. We have to prove ourselves more. And then when we do get to a point where we are, women in power being successful, then we start getting hit with I guess she's a bad mother, or she's not spending time with her kids. Or I wonder, they probably have a really horrible relationship at home. And people just start throwing these stereotypes at us. I'm here to break that mold because it is complete bull and we are ready to take these risks. We're ready to start building our own empowers. as women, we are setting the foundations for our children to do the same because they follow their parents as footsteps. And so if we are staying small and timid. Then how are our kids going to financially grow? I love that we're stepping into that era where women don't just budget, but build wealth along with our partners. We're helping multiply it. as we continue doing this, I want us to be able to do it in a way that we're so confident about it, that we don't feel sorry for it. We don't have to feel guilty for it. we're doing this without having to ask permission. I'm ready to break the mold rewriting the rules and stepping into that unfuckable financial power that we, women so desperately want, can own and are ready to run with.

Kristen: 5:12

I love that. Now I do wanna pause because something you said triggered something in my head. I'm like, we should talk about that one a little bit more. you talk about, when there is a woman who is in power and kind of the different stereotypes or maybe negative thoughts that are put towards it. Oh, if she's working this hard, she must not be a good mom or must not have a good marriage. Something I've seen too is when you see a woman that's really successful, sometimes people will be like I wonder how she got there. Wonder who she slept with to get there. Or they don't respect her position. that's a position, but she's just a woman. What does she really know about it? And I feel like there are some areas where women are still not taking seriously, even though they are in that position of power or they have worked hard to get to a place. do you have any thoughts on that about how women can navigate when they're in a situation like that where there is that hate or negativity thrown around about them?

Tiffany: 6:06

Yeah, so I'm approached at a different, the different vantage point. Because with me and my background and lifestyle, I got a lot of flack for that because being Southern Baptist and being in the profession that I'm in, it goes completely against everything I've been taught. my big thing was to break that mold It is very difficult because our society is just constantly built around judgment and upset, like exception. And women like to, really people please when it comes to, that was our job. We were the ones that made the relationships and the friendships and when people came over, we were the ones making sure, the conversations were moving we made sure that our guests were comfortable, were happy, were entertained, were doing all the things. And as you, as we mentioned before, when women were in the situations. They typically had to do that kind of stuff to get to a point of success back in the day. Yeah. And it was very difficult and hard for us because you had to either choose to, compromise who you are so you can con continue to succeed or, let it all go because you're not willing to compromise yourself. And it is a hard conversation to dive into. But I believe that when women are successful. When people are looking from the outside end and they have negative comments, or rumors we have to take it with a grain of salt. Because if you are that woman in that much power, you're gonna have to have tough skin anyways because you've had to fight your way to the top. You had to work harder to get where you're at. And if somebody who is sitting on the sidelines who doesn't know your story, who doesn't know you, know how you've accomplished what you accomplished, they have no right to talk about you. And the fact that they are is saying more about them than about you and the people who hear those comments It's either gonna be your friends who know better. For people who are just in the same mind space and negativity and smallness, that person was, who started it, who is unwilling to make themselves uncomfortable, to step out of their comfort zone so that they too can be successful. So it's almost like a they're not jealous, but I'm gonna say they're jealous. Yeah.'cause if they're watching you, they're trying to take you down and take you out for doing what you do best in a way that is successful and in value of your morals and, sovereignty, then they don't have a right to say otherwise. And when you feed energy into those, that's where it starts becoming if you're fighting for yourself, there is some truth behind it Yeah, you can just continue saying your little stuff. Like they're gonna talk about you if you're doing good, they're gonna talk about bad. Let them, the thing that matters is the people who you truly love, who you're truly close with, knows the real you and is respectful and celebrating the crap out of you for being successful. And the rest of the naysayers, don't, matter. Don't waste. time and energy on that. That is just bullying in my mind. I love that.

Kristen: 8:57

And something else you said about Women's place was the entertaining, taking care of things. It was really a good girl thing. Be the good girl, do the good thing, so how has that good girl mentality around spending gone too? why do women feel guilty for spending on themselves?

Tiffany: 9:14

So I would love to actually talk about that. we've been conditioned to feel that guilt when we invest in ourselves. our worth has always come last. As moms, our children come first. in a relationship, we wanna make sure that our spouse is coming first we don't typically take a lot of time to ourselves and support ourselves and give ourselves that love and that attention that we deserve. And so the good girl likes to save for a rainy day. The good girl doesn't spend money on luxury things and doesn't eat out or, has to do things to make herself prettier And the truth there is playing small doesn't serve. It doesn't serve anyone, right? We can be responsible and bold and we can still honor our families and our desire for abundance and still make sure that there is enough love and support for ourselves, and that we're not just here to fit the mold of just enough. And so I love telling women and teaching women how to really embody more, not just bring more for themselves, but embody more in general. Because when women rise financially. Families and entire communities rise with us we're the ones helping support small businesses. women typically support market affiliates or brand partners more so than men. No offense against men, I'm not sure it's men. But how many men do you see go into a pampered chef party? Or how many men do you see doing any I'm sure some of us know somebody who is selling something on a marketing side. And we typically have more of a women dominance than that, than we do a male dominance. And so it's going to be. Us allowing to build up our communities our friends and our families who are also still working on bringing more in and embodying more financially as well. I love this because we're breaking generational curses and ending things, it's not just about accepting the financial struggle as the norm, but starting to build wealth as a legacy within women, within our children, and within our family and communities.

Kristen: 11:12

I love that. And it is funny, you talk about the Pampered Chef parties, and it made me think about how, for years, that was a way that women of older generations had to make their own money. I remember my grandmother, she sold for Tupperware for quite a while. I don't know the exact length, but that was her way because back then, the forties, fifties, sixties, whatever women in the workplace weren't, that common for them to be able to make money and feel like they were contributing to the family, those parties were really, one of the only things they had Mary Kay Avon, Tupperware, a lot of them started back in that time A way not only to make money, but to get together with other women and share the products and make money off of that. it goes along with what you were saying too, about building that community because as they would have those parties, the party host would invite her friends and they would come together and then somebody from there would go and have another party. And it was a social thing too, where they were able to get together and do something on their own where they weren't relying on the money made by their husband or their father They had a way to take control of it on their own. And maybe that was the start of women taking into control their own wealth management and how they were going to set themselves up for success.

Tiffany: 12:28

Absolutely. I love it.

Kristen: 12:30

So let's see. We talked a little bit about that generational money that back then, women really had to rely on a partner. How do you feel that has changed? Like in the women that you work with and what you've seen? are there women who are taking such a charge that you have seen them breaking free from those societal norms and really taking charge? what are you seeing?

Tiffany: 12:54

one of the things that led me into my financial journey, because my story actually started before I started even coaching. And at a young age, my dad always taught us that if we wanted to drive our car or go out and hang out with our friends at the movies or anything like that, I had to be financially responsible for that. Because he was a concrete worker and so we didn't always have a lot of money coming in and, my dad and my mom worked really hard to make sure that we were. All of our needs were met and they were but we didn't have a whole lot of room to do anything extra. And so I had to get a job at a young age. I was taught how to take care of myself, my car, my school grades and my extra activities. I was in dance and all the things And so it was a lot of things that I was doing extra that I had to make sure I could also afford, financially. And my parents did help too. And they could, but it was something that I always had to work for what I wanted. so I always had a drive to make money. Whenever I got out of my parents' house, I actually got with an ex and we were not very financially smart. I ended up having to claim bankruptcy before I was even

Kristen: 14:02

20

Tiffany: 14:02

And that was hard because I lost the place I was living in. I lost a car that I bought myself. I was going to college and working two jobs. it was really devastating because I was supposed to be on the top of my game. I've always worked really hard. just like my dad, it never seemed to be enough. It never seemed to allow me to flourish I struggled with money for a long time. And my husband and I got together. He helped me get back on my feet. Then he was part of the whole Wells Fargo let go. So he was let go of work for six months and we didn't really have the income for it. So we lived off credit cards and racked up a bunch of debt, But also leave enough money for my kids so that we didn't have to see them go through the same thing that him and I went through. Yeah. Even though it was just unplanned. per your conversation I worked the nine to five jobs and they weren't doing what they needed to do. By the time you had to pay for childcare and all the things, I was spending more money than I was making. So I ended up coming back home and I started working multiple incomes. this was through affiliate branding. my own business. working, at some kind of job, whether it be at the boutique or Edward Jones that I worked at. I always had multiple streams of incoming. So I was constantly bringing in more money. And the one thing that I found is most successful abundant people have at least five to seven different streams of income And when I learned that, I was just like, oh my gosh, I never thought about that. But if you ever talk to somebody who has not been born into money, who has worked their way up to where they're at financially, you will most of the time hear them have several different ways of stream of income, whether it be through investing, their job or some kind of, affiliate marketing They've got more than one stream of income So once I started understanding that you have to be flexible diverse and have different options I started getting into those communities that's how I met my friend Marissa, who is helping me do a mini series about financial wellness. And she told me about this program we were not taught. Education when it came to financing properly. this is exactly what we need to do, get back to the basics so we can grow, share and help other people do the same. she asked me to join this journey with her about a year ago, and I'm kicking myself for not doing it because she has successfully retired her husband, She has traveled the world. She has been to Dubai. She just went to Arizona and stayed in a mansion. She has been traveling the world, loving life and enjoying all this stuff. she asked me to join her on this journey a year ago. with all these tools we're learning and teaching, and that we're growing and that we're involving, I witnessed her, literally witnessed her start in her. 20. She's still in her twenties. Like she's, that's crazy. Even 30. Yet guys, she has successfully left her job She's been doing some affiliate marketing and things. That's how we actually connected. She found this great adventure that she started on financial aid. She asked me to go with her. I was in there with her, but I just wanted to see how it went. And now I'm like, oh my gosh, Marissa, I wish I could've because she is skyrocketing financially. that is her vision as well, to teach women to do the same. seeing somebody go from where she was to as successful as she is in the short period amount of time, and also like in the age that she's at, is mind blowing. when people talk about, This They're like, man, that sounds too good to be true. I'm like, I know, but I literally watched it happen. They're like, oh, it's a pyramid scheme, but can we completely dismantle that? Because everything is a pyramid scheme. Even if you're working in a corporate job, there is somebody above you making money off of you, there's no way you can avoid that. And so this whole pyramid scheme, it's not what we used to think it was. the way that the world is shifting to digital currency credit cards debit cards and wire transfers we don't have to have paper cash anymore. And we have to start shifting with the way that the financial money is growing and through that can be online selling affiliate marketing or any kind of online business. And it doesn't have to be a pyramid scheme. I see all these women hustling and doing a fantastic job and then you have, those negative naysayers can you just be respectful and support the fact that this woman is stepping into her own instead of trying to tear her down? Because if you've got a problem with what she's doing, then once again, the problem's with you now with her. unless somebody has done you wrong, do no wrong to them. seeing these women start stepping into their own I've coached a few women now who I've been going alongside with me for the last eight months seeing their growth financially, physically, spiritually, has just been. Phenomenal. It is the best part of my job. I love my job because I love seeing the transformation that these women's are taking and they're traveling with their family. They're going and doing stuff that they wouldn't normally have been able to do before. I couldn't ask for a better outcome than seeing these people not only thrive, but also their families thriving with them. I think it's amazing.

Kristen: 18:49

Yeah, and I think the point you make too is how there's been such a shift in the mindset of how finances actually work. Like you, my dad was really big in teaching me to work for what I wanted. Like he always said that you'd appreciate it more if you've worked for it. So I paid for a lot of my college on my own. They helped, I had some scholarships and things, but I paid for the big chunk of my own. at the time I was so frustrated with it'cause I was still working and going to class, I'm doing all these things and then I have, there's people that I went to school with and I was like, they would just call their mom and be like, I need more money. And they put more money in their account and their, parents are already paying for all of college. I was so frustrated. those same people are the ones that changed their majors a hundred times and were there five years instead of four years. And I was able to complete, by even taking some summer classes, I was able to complete right on time. And everything and looking back it was like I did appreciate it more'cause I had to pay for it myself. My parents didn't give me a car. The first car I got was after I got my first big girl job and got the loan for it with the letters showing I could pay for it. Like I did that on my own. And it was like, there was so many things that, learning to pay for it on your own and do the work. You really do appreciate it more. On the flip side though, because we're taught, if you work hard, you'll be rewarded for it. You will gain success then when it doesn't work that way, or you're not as successful as you'd like to be, even though you're putting the work in. I think that's where it comes to the point where you are talking about the different streams of income. It's okay, I've got a job. I'm doing the work. It's paying me. I should be where I want to be, and not everybody is that way. maybe the job isn't enough. Maybe you need to have a different stream of income. Maybe you do need to be making some investments. And to the education piece, we are not taught this at all. In high school, I had taken only because I didn't wanna take trigonometry, consumer math and the class was good. Like it taught you how to write checks and it was supposed to give some budgeting, but it wasn't enough of actually teaching. I always tell the story of when, I moved out on my own and I had no idea how expensive air conditioning was. That's the story I tell because when my, I moved when it was winter, so electric bill wasn't crazy. But then that first summer bill when I was running my air conditioning the electric bill was totally way more than what I had been budgeting for. it's Crazy. Nobody teaches you how to do these things and you have to figure it out on your own from your stories and everybody has them trial and error. Maybe it's not fully bankruptcy and maybe it's not fully repossession, but maybe it's high credit card debt and maybe it is not being able to go somewhere or get something because your credit isn't good enough We have to go through those things to learn and there's gotta be an easier way where people don't have to go through all that trouble to actually know what to do and how to do it.

Tiffany: 21:38

Absolutely. I a hundred percent agree A lot of people are really ashamed. this was something I was ashamed of for the longest time. I just started sharing my story I don't even think my parents know that I had to clean bankruptcy. Like I just started sharing my story about this because I was so embarrassed. That it was something I had to go through. I wasn't reckless. I thought that I was working hard, I was doing my schooling, I was doing everything I needed to do. And it was like, but there was somebody else who was adding to my expenses or spending and doing things that I wasn't aware of. And so it was the same concept of I was making enough, I wasn't like. Hurting for money or anything, but I wasn't making enough that I had the extra money to splurge on stuff. Which is where, we got in trouble and things just happened. And and I'm not placed in the blame on anybody. It was still, I should have been more financially responsible for myself. But we weren't taught that. what I love is, you talked about, racking up the debt and doing all the things. And I think that's the thing that, I'm not gonna sit in a conversation, but Kristen, I need to talk to you about my debt. So that's not the conversation I'm gonna wanna have, but we need to start having those conversations because if your friend doesn't know that you are stressing out and spiraling For whatever reason, then how are they going to support you and help you through it? debt happens so easily between unexpected medical bills. Can I tell you how many kids, how many time my kids have been in the doctor's office lately, and that we have so many freaking medical bills right now because of all this crap going around these schools? Nobody can budget for that. That is not something that you can say, oh, you know what? It's gonna be flu season. Each of my kids are gonna be in a doctor anywhere between eight to 10 times in the next three months. Let's make sure we have that copay ready. Let's make sure we have that. Unexpected medical bill ready to pay off. Nobody under expects that.

Kristen: 23:19

No, I was gonna say it's so important to be aware of your friend's situation because how many times has it been where, you've got friends going out all the time and they keep inviting. This other friend out and that other friend may not have enough money to go out. then that person is stressed out. Do I go with them? Do I put the expenses on a credit card and just rack it up so I can be with my friends?'cause I don't want them to know I don't have the money right now. And, absolutely. It's, it just makes it harder on all friends because especially if the friends doing the inviting don't know the situation They're not doing it on purpose. But also they could help. But then that friend may be like I don't wanna be a charity case. I don't want my friends to pay for my food, my, event, whatever. So it's really hard because there is so much shame around it We're all supposed to be good with money, even though We weren't taught how to do it. We don't know how to do it, but you should be able to do it, keep your credit score absolutely at 800, don't make any mistakes. And it's just not realistic. And you're right. So many times it's completely out of control. if you lose a job. like you said, medical things, there are so many things, it's not always just frivolous spending. Sometimes that does add to it and contribute to it, but it's not just that. And we've gotta get past that stigma that people are not less of a person because they have a lower credit score. Not that any people will just share their credit scores, but still it shouldn't be about that.

Tiffany: 24:36

And as we're not telling you to go put a billboard, sign up or post it all over social media. But it's something you don't need to struggle with by yourself. Yes. And what I tell everybody my story now, probably only because my goal is to make people financially aware I hid this from my parents for years. I'm 34 and I still have yet to tell my parents. it's hard because you're not proud about it. But if we're not. able to confide in somebody besides our partners it, can cause so much more stress. Than we understand. And it actually really impacts our health. It impacts our mental wellness, it impacts how we live our day-to-day life. And again, our kids are watching us. So if we're allowing this silent, disgusting feeling, control who we are in the conversations that we're having, then our kids are gonna think that's okay. And even if it's not just about money, it could be about other things. Oh, you know what? I have this horrible thing happening to me and I just don't wanna talk about it because it's really embarrassing. So I'm just gonna sit here and let it eat at me. This is how we lose our children. Okay. We have to show our kids that it is okay to not be okay. We need to be vulnerable. We need to show them that it's okay to trust in somebody and confide in somebody, even whenever it's something that is scary, it's embarrassing, it's not fun, it's sad. And let them feel their emotions. I think that's the other thing too, is that we don't allow ourselves to properly feel our emotions. We try hiding it from our children, or we try hiding it from the people that we're around. And we're not honestly showing, but we expect our kids to be honest with their emotions. So we're not living up to the standards that we're setting for our kids. if I cannot have an honest conversation with my husband in front of my kids so that they can see how we process, then what are we here for? my dad gets on me because he's man, you're really tough on him. I said, but dad, Look at what we're dealing with right now. Life is tough. I remember you and mom hiding in the rooms and having your not so hot conversations but I don't wanna hide that from my kids. I want them to know that marriage isn't always easy. Yes. Marriage is gonna have, its up and downs. Marriage is going to have those bumpy roads where you have disagreements where you don't agree on the same thing. Or when you are butting heads, there's times that you know, your dad and I need to have a break from each other because we don't agree with each other right now. And our emotions are not where they need to be to finish having this conversation. So once we let our emotions calm down, once we're in a right mind and we're not letting our anger fuel us, we come back to the conversations in the same room. we're not telling our kids, Hey, come watch this But if we started the argument in the main living room where everybody's at, we're gonna finish our conversation in that main living room where everybody was at. We're not gonna hide our conversations. Because I want my kids to see it's okay to be not okay. It's okay to have conflict. We still love each other even though we don't agree about this and that we had an argument about this, but we can also forgive each other from it. And so instead of sitting in the same argument and conversation for days and days and days, we have it. We let ourselves calm down from it, and then we come back to it as grown adults and we apologize. And we say, you know what? I was wrong. Or, you know what? This is what hurt me. Or, you know what, this is where I'm not understanding this correctly. And we have a genuinely honest conversation with each other. And it's the same thing with money. We tell our kids, you know what? I'm very grateful we get to splurge on our kids. I'm very grateful that we have the extra income that we can do luxury things with our kids. But there's times when things get tight. Like I said, how many times have our kids been to the doctor's office this month?

Kristen: 28:03

thing they got this time. You got to go to the doctor. You

Tiffany: 28:06

gotta be sick. You have be outta school for a week. But it's honest. It's you know what? Because of what's going on, we don't have that extra money to go out and spend a bunch of things. But we make up for it. when we do, we will remember this is something that you guys wanna do and we are more than happy to do it. Then we just need to make sure that we can catch up financially before we can continue going out and having a lot of splurging and fun, which we did. We were able to go out for my birthday weekend and we splurged on the kids. that's what I wanted to do for my birthday. I wanted to hang out and have fun with them. it's a compromise. when we're honest with our kids and we show them re's already financially getting really smart, she knows how to save her money. She knows how to do chores and make extra money. She knows how to help others and she's already financially knowing if I want something, it costs money. I need to work for it. And even if she doesn't have the money we'll typically do it for her, but she's at least done something to earn that. And so Xavier's learning, oh, hey, you know what? I got a bunch of money from my birthday. I can save it for this, or this, and they actually think about what they wanna buy because they know they only have so much to spend. And things cost different prices. we're already starting to have those financial conversations with our kids so they can start making smart financial decisions. But I also want them to have. Wrong financial decision. So for example, Raya had$50. She went to the store, she found one toy that she wanted, that was literally all of her money. She bought it, brought it home and we tried talking her out of it.'cause we're like, I don't think that's what you think it is. And she goes, no, this is what I want. She hated it.

Kristen: 29:29

Yep.

Tiffany: 29:30

And then she had no money left. this is where you need to sit and actually look at what you're buying and is it something that you really want? Or is there a different way you can allocate your money and buy multiple things that are going to bring you more joy than this toy that cost all your money and you hate it. And so it's allowing them to have that, oh, you know what, this is a bad financial choice. But now they also know I need to be smarter with my money. And so we're giving them that smart money. So key in kids and they're at that age that they're just absorbing everything right now. That this is the perfect time to do it.

Kristen: 30:02

And it's also a good time to practice teaching impulse purchasing too, because, part of the lesson is, oh, she had the money, she wanted to spend it. She found a thing, she did.'cause we've sat with my son too. He'll be like, yeah, but I have the money. It's fine, it's whatever. And then oh, I shouldn't have spent all my money. it's a great time to not just have an impulse purchase. Hey, maybe think about what else it is that you want. My thing is it going to go on sale?'cause I will wait for it to go on sale certain items, absolutely. And being a little bit smart and being able to wait for it. And that's something that can, learning at that early age to take that into your adulthood because it's something my husband and I go back and forth on. He is more the spender. I'm more the saver. I'm still in the good girl mentality. No, I have to save my money for a rainy day. I shouldn't be buying all these things because what if I need the money later on? But my husband's thing is, you work really hard for the money you get, but if the money you're making is only going to paying bills, you are actually gonna resent the money and all the work you're doing because you are not using any of it on yourself. you still have to buy yourself something. So that you feel like you're paying yourself by giving yourself something. clearly he and I are at opposite ends of the extreme on this one. We don't wanna spend all the money, we don't wanna save all the money, but having that balance where the bills are taken care of, but we don't feel guilty about spending it on things we want. also that we don't go to the extreme that we spend too much. And it's oh, that was not a great way to handle it either. So I try to be a little bit more. Absolutely. My thing is, I love thrifting. I love going to resale shops. I buy way too many clothes, and my closet is too full. I have to keep giving more clothes away, which is great because then somebody else gets clothes. But that's my thing. some people might think, oh, that's frivolous. You don't need all those clothes. In my mind I'm like, it's just a$4 shirt though. So I'm not really out anything, it's just I buy, four of them at a time, But still, in my mind, it's how I rationalize it that I'm not wasting my money. It's an activity I enjoy. Going rack by rack, new item by item is something I really enjoy. It's the hunt of the perfect piece and then absolutely, it's not a lot of money, but it's still something that I do enjoy. once in a while I'll buy myself something really nice. I've got so many cute things, but my husband's really big on eBay, so a lot of the stuff I have that is name brand or NICE is still used. I feel like I am putting together a package of myself, and what I'm wearing, and carrying myself that I am, maybe more wealthy than I really am. But the point is that there's ways that you can spend money to still buy things for yourself without taking away from anybody else Absolutely. It's like that guilt piece. It's getting past the, oh I'm spending money on me instead of my family, and I should be doing it. So if you have any tips on how to help women overcome that guilty mindset and knowing that it's okay to still spend on themselves what do you think about that?

Tiffany: 32:42

Yeah. So I actually love that you brought up the whole thrifting thing because that for me is huge. I'm a luxury spender. I've gotten every single one of my kids, one of those amazing, say, love you blankets that I sell. They're so expensive and I would never have thought about doing this even eight months ago. But we do allow ourselves, because one they're really great'cause they're anxiety blankets for the kids and all the things, and they're super comfortable. So there's a mental and wellness value to it also. But we are also major thrifts. one of the things I love doing with our kids is just because something was used doesn't mean it's not new and doesn't have that extra energy for somebody to love. every Christmas I allow them to bring all their toys and put'em in a basket or a box or something that is still good. It's still very playable, but something they've outgrown. if any of their siblings doesn't want it, we donate it to Santa. So that Santa can re make them all pretty and then re-gift them out to kids who, very much would love to have those toys. Yes. Who might not have the luxury of getting it, And so we're gifting back what's still good so that it can be reused and gifted to somebody who's gonna love it just as much as they did. And I gotta thank Toy Story for that because whenever he gave all of his little figurines to the girl look how much she fell in love with all of it. And so that's the concept that I'm trying to teach them. And I love thrifting and one of the things that I love about Facebook is we have a free Facebook community. some of the things that people put on there are like brand new, and I'm like, oh my gosh. This is amazing. We got one of those like 19 foot Christmas trees that's Then I got rid because one of the centerpiece the lights went out. I was like, I'm cool. Bag just string some more weight around it. Yes, exactly. And so I got a free 19 foot Christmas tree that didn't fit in my house we had to take one of the middle pieces out and it barely fits. We still can't put a tree er on it, But it's still very good to us. We love getting that tree out every year. We love decorating that tree every year. And so being able to give somebody else the opportunity to love what we've loved and no longer serving us that they can love it, and then finding something in return at a thrift store or somewhere that is used. There's no shame in that. the thing that I love the most is, you talk about your closet and having too much clothes. You can never have too much clothes. However, you can have too many clothes that don't support you. if you are going through your closet and you're like, Ugh, I don't know. Why are you keeping it? You're just holding that negative energy in your closet. you wanna make sure that the things you are buying, one, support your needs, and two, actually make you feel good about yourself. They bring you that confidence and make you happy. for the women who are struggling with that I'm not comfortable spending or I don't like the feeling of spending money on myself. Look at it this way. If we're teaching our kids that we are worth what we put into ourselves or worth, spending money on, or we're seeing them get happy because they get to buy something, or they get to get something at the store that brings joy to them, why are we denying ourselves that? Do they only get to enjoy that before they get to start having their own family and their kids? Or is that something that they can also continue as you're an adult and so Yeah, we're still in that good girl money mindset. I love that you brought up, your husband is actually the spender and you're more of the saver because my husband and I are opposite I come up with him with all these deals and he's like, how are we gonna, I'm like, you know what? I dunno how this is all gonna work out. I don't know. I run a small business. I can have all my clients canceled in one week. but I'm trusting that money is energy. The energy that I'm putting in my money and in my spending and investing, as long as our bills are paid our needs are met. Anything that is left over, I am more than happy to spend on myself, my family, or even my friends. As long as it brings them joy, it gives them something that makes them feel good. And so I actually had a friend that her love language was to spend to buy things for you. it was really hard for me to accept because I felt like a burden because, I couldn't go out all the time, or afford to do what she was doing all the time. It's just, don't worry. Please let me get it for you. And I'm just like, I appreciate that, but it also makes me feel icky too. And so we had to work on a really good energy exchange and it's you know what? That's great. Let me return it in some kind of form payment. Service something, right? Let me support you back. if you want to support a friend who is selling something or has their own business and you might not be able to afford it Just be like, Hey, I would love to support you. I can't necessarily pay you, but can we do an energy exchange? Can we do something to support each other? as a person who has a small business. I don't do all my services off of money. I love doing energy exchanges. I think that is one of the best things you can do for people because you can give them feedback shout'em out on social media or leave a review on their page. it's so great because word of mouth is what brings success to others and supports our community our friends and all the things. finding a way that you are comfortable in taking care of yourself, supporting other people and their dreams and their visions, but also making sure that you're staying true to your own abundance, true to your own sovereignty, and bringing up your financial wellness in a way that is support for you and your family, I think is just going to be. A huge shift for a lot of people in the upcoming years. I don't think this is gonna take off very fast, because we have a lot of deconditioning to do. And a lot of mindset, reprograming, once we are willing to take that hard time and look at our money, finances, debts, what we're spending a month on, different things, like I tell my people that are going through my coaching program, I wanna know what your credit card balances are, what your bank account balances are. I want you to sit down and write down every single thing that you have purchased and the last three months, put'em in different categories because I wanna know where your money leaks are. I wanna see where you're overspending. I wanna see the places that you're completely avoiding, and we're gonna start building a successful plan to get you out of debt. To get you back on track, to get yourself saving some money for you and your family and to really make sure that you're spending your money wisely because it's energy. And if we're not spending it as we should, the universe or God is not going to give us more back. They're gonna be like, why? You're not doing what you're supposed to be doing. But if we are spending it correctly and we're supporting ourselves and our families, and we're making sure our needs are met and we're bringing joy into the things that we're doing, then God in the universe is going to continue to give us more. we don't have a limitless God. So why do we have to have limited finances? Limited health or wealth or anything else. We're limitless. And that's the way we were created and that's the way our creator is. us allowing ourselves to believe anything else is just denying us.

Kristen: 39:05

No, I love that and I think it is so hard because you're right, you talk about the programming and societal pressures So in the women that you're working with, and for people listening right now, what's some of the practical mindset shifts for women who want to step into financial abundance? what are some of the tips that you would give somebody listing right now to help them get off the ledge where they're at and dive into being ready to step into financial abundance? What are some of the practical ways that they can shift their mindset and get themselves to that point?

Tiffany: 39:35

Yeah, I think the biggest thing is just really sitting down. I always say awareness is key. Awareness is so vital in everything that we do. And so when you sit down to redefine what financial wellness really means to you and how we have been conditioned to believe it because we can look at our family history think about when you were a child, what was money like whenever it came to your family dynamics? Was it something they fought over? Was it something that you were living paycheck to paycheck? Was it something that you had a lot of get a clear picture of what their finances was growing up and then as they, to get a clear picture of just what they were told financial wellness should be. Does it actually align with them? Does it feel like that's something that they would agree or does that feel like something they would wanna teach their kids right now? And for women like us, success is sovereignty. when we're waking up and knowing that we're financially secure because we created it in a way that aligns with how we want to continue to grow and how we want our family to grow, that within itself is just thriving. And you're not waiting for validation from anybody. It's wealth that's truly aligned and it's not something that you're required to have because that's what's expected of you. And so breaking free from that comparison of what's culture has told us, not saying that it was wrong, but we've outgrown that it's time for us to also expand our understanding of this. It allows us to really start creating a more successful. Thriving lifestyle. And so get clear on, like I said, get clear on what your debts are. we gotta stop hiding'em. We gotta stop, not talking about'em, keep'em from each other, that kind of thing. We need to start getting very clear on what we're spending our money on. Where are our money leaks at? Where are we putting money in things that we don't need? Where are we putting money in things that really don't bring us value or bring us anything that's going to be joy, happiness, or excitement? There is no scarcity and success when you're aligned and thriving in your own lane and you're making your own financial choices. So when you start breaking all of this down, you've just started understanding where your beliefs are coming from. You're understanding what your debts are, where you're spending your money, and if it's actually supporting you or if it's not supporting you, then we're gonna start taking that practical shift. We're gonna start asking ourselves, what does wealth truly mean for me? What does that look like? What does that feel like? And it's gonna be different for everybody. For me, I want my cute farmhouse with my homestead my cows chickens gardens, and the kids running around barefoot in the yard. that to me, is success. some people might want mansions, some might want a camper to travel the world. Success and wellness is going to be different for everybody. So what does it look and feel like for you and your family? when you define it for yourself and stop chasing somebody else's version of abundance, you finally step into what is meant for you all along. Because success is a finish line. It's how you thrive on your own terms unapologetically, and it's how you start being fully aligned and forever free.

Kristen: 42:37

And I love that you said that because you used the word comparison a couple times and I was hoping we could talk about that for a minute too, because I know it's something I struggle with. And it's social media again. What I'm finding as I'm talking with different people over these different episodes is that my biggest problem with social media I'm getting to the point where I'm like, I that's my problem in life. But no, social media, the comparison, because you've seen these people and they're going on lavish vacations and they have the campers and they have the vacation homes, and they have the buying all the stuff and all the different cars And I know, nobody ever really knows somebody's personal financial situation. But it is hard when you see that stuff and you're like, why do they have all that? Like, why do I still feel like I'm struggling? Or why do I feel I'm just treading water, just paying my bills and they're out doing all these things, so how do you break from that, the comparison and say,'cause I know some of the answers like it's not about you Kristen. That's their life. And you have your life and what you have is wonderful too, and you do have an abundant life and you have so much to be thankful for. You're so blessed. I understand that. And I am thankful for all that I have. But how do we as a society kind of break free from the comparison? you only say comparison is the thief of joy and it is because it's on your social media feed all the time, it's right there. It's easy to get distracted from what you have when you see what other people have and then what you don't have. What do we do about that, Tiffany?

Tiffany: 44:02

So I love that you brought that up because comparison is absolutely one of the fastest ways to block your financial wellness or abundance, however you wanna bring it. you definitely hit the mark with social media and just how it's got you thinking that you're behind because you don't have the designer bags or the vacations or the million dollar business But here's where the truth's gonna come in. And this might hit you guys a little hard. You cannot compare your chapter three to somebody else's Chapter 30. When people look at me and my success and where I am now, I've had to work really hard for it, but then I realized I was working way harder than I was supposed to be, and actually caused myself more trouble than I would've if I would've just trusted the process. I had to get myself to where I'm at today. If somebody's starting this journey, you can't compare like, oh man, I'm still learning. I'm just starting to get into this, but look how successful this person is. I compare myself to Marissa and I'm like, I need to stop doing that because you're months ahead of me and I'm just starting and I already want what you have. And I know it took you time to get there. we don't give ourselves that grace. We don't give ourselves that ability to Work on what we need to work on. every single person has a unique assignment. We all have a divine timeline. We all have a distinct reason why we're here in this lifetime doing what we're doing. And it's because we are not supposed to just be silent zombies who go through the world like we're here to make a difference. what's meant for us cannot pass us by. the only person that can prevent you from being successful is yourself. we're the ones that typically get in our own way. if you're delaying anything, or too busy watching somebody else's journey, comparing yourself to somebody else, that opportunity for you to continue bringing in what you were meant to have. Is not going to happen because you're not allowing it to happen. You're too distracted by everything else. So for me, I broke free from financial comparison by staying deeply anchored in my vision. I talked about bringing that vision of financial wellness reminding myself that God didn't give me this vision for nothing. my wealth will look different because my purpose is different. What I'm here to do is different from what everybody else is here to do. I can celebrate my wins. I can celebrate my, my one step, two step, 10 steps forward, or even my two steps back because sometimes we need to take a step back, reassess and then continue moving forward. Celebrate the actions that you take. That's the proof that you're stepping towards abundance and that abundance is possible. the second I feel that comparison creep in, I like to do what I call flip the script. If I notice that I'm judging myself, I'll use Marissa as she's my coach. She's doing this whole financial thing with me. If I keep judging myself to her success, it's evidence of what's also available to me. So your comparison yourself to people, that means that's evidence that it's also available to you. you don't know what somebody else has sacrificed to get what they have. Comparison only shows you the highlight reel, not the full story. my full story was I went through bankruptcy before I was 20. My husband ended up losing his job. We struggled, we got back up. We had four kids. We struggled. We had a pandemic. we struggled. But where I am now was because I continued to reassess, realign. I had to take a few steps back before I can compete to continue going forward. And so trusting the timing of your own abundance is really hard. But if you believe that you're exactly where you're meant to be and on the way to who you're wanting to become, then you are fully in your lane. You are fully focused on building that wealth in a way that's really aligned with you. Comparison loses its grip. Comparison's no longer there because you realize that the only competition is the woman you were yesterday and not who you are today. Because she's already proud of how far you've come because you're further today than what you were yesterday.

Kristen: 47:57

I think that, and so

Tiffany: 47:58

only get in your way.

Kristen: 48:00

And I think that's what it comes down to with any kind of comparison. It's more important to look inward than outward, like instead of seeing what other people have, it's focusing on what you have. And the progress you are making. the only story that you really should care about is yours. the one that you are leading in your life and your family, everybody else can do what they want and will do what they want and more power to them in their success. And finding their way. But for you, for me, like for any of us on our individual past, it's more important to be focusing inwardly rather than outwardly, so that we're focusing on our own journey and progress made.

Tiffany: 48:37

Absolutely. And like I said, you cannot bring in abundance whenever you're comparing yourself to somebody else's blessing. You've gotta pay attention to what's meant for you. Because again, their success, their abundance is going to be so different from what yours is. And so you wanna make sure you're staying focused because our subconscious doesn't know difference between reality and what we're dreaming. So I like to tell my clients, get your head back in those clouds. Start daydreaming about the life you wanna live, the life you wanna manifest. Where you wanna be in five years, 10 years, even two months from now. Start dreaming and living in that moment. Feel like you're there. Smell the air. See your kids running around. See yourself on the beach. Put yourself in that moment as often as you can, because then your subconscious brain is gonna go, oh, that's reality. I need to start bringing that in. Yes. And not what you're currently struggling with. So the more you start telling yourself, not saying, you know what, one day I'm gonna be a millionaire mama No, I'm a millionaire mama. It might not look like the way you think it's gonna look but when you start telling yourself, I am this, I am bringing this in, it's coming. I'm working on it. I am in the process of moving in that direction. You are telling your subconscious that I'm already making this happen. You're either with me or you're not. And then once your subconscious gets on board, that completely changes everything. There's no stopping you then So you gotta flip the script. You gotta start believing that you've already owned this. You already claim it because it's there. If you can see it, if you can envision it, if you can breathe it, if you can think it or dream it, it's yours. You just have to believe it's yours and believe that you're taking the proper steps to get to that moment in time. Whenever it's meant to be

Kristen: 50:18

Yeah. What's the saying? If you can conceive it, you can believe it. If you can believe it, you can achieve it. So it's all mental. Absolutely. And you can get there. Tiffany, this has been fantastic. We've talked a little bit about some of the societal norms and previous generational norms around success and wealth and women and what we can and can't have, what we should and shouldn't have, and how we do it. And a little bit about how women are really kicking ass and getting out there and making a name for themselves and really having everything they want. So as we wrap up, do you have any final advice or any last thoughts that you'd like to share with the listeners on this?

Tiffany: 50:55

Yes. I would love to leave everybody with this last tidbit. I want you guys just to close your eyes, take some deep breaths and feel into you and who you are and your soul, because I want you guys to hear this and hear it deeply. You weren't created for crumbs, you weren't meant to play small or sit quietly while the world told you what you should want. You are the blueprint for abundance, the legacy builder, the cycle breaker, the one who redefines, what wealth looks like for every woman who comes after you. If you're feeling that, Trust it because God didn't give you those desires by accident. They're divine assignments and a reminder that you were made for overflow. you do not need permission. You do not need approval, and you do not have to shrink to make everyone else comfortable. You are worthy of every dollar, every dream, and every damn thing you desire right now. Your abundance doesn't have to look like anyone else's. It's yours to define. build, and claim. So here's your choice. You can keep playing small by the rules that were never made for you, or break the mold and step into your own power and become that millionaire Mama you were always meant to be. No more playing small. No more waiting because it's your time and it's up to you to own it.

Kristen: 52:18

Woo, that was absolutely wonderful, Tiffany. I love that. Thank you. that was phenomenal. Appreciate you coming on, and I'm sure we will have you again soon to talk about something else.

Tiffany: 52:32

I love these conversations. Thank you guys so much for inviting me on, and thank you for your support I'm really looking forward to, continuing this run with you. I'm so excited. Your podcast is amazing and I'm very appreciative for you inviting me on here.

Kristen: 52:46

Thanks Tiffany.