Kristen: 0:36

Hey everybody. Welcome back and welcome to a very, very special episode. I know I say I'm excited about every episode, but this one is special because it is the kickoff to our virtual book club, if you haven't seen it on social or heard me mention it in other episodes, I'm really excited about this book Club is something that has been. Very important to me. It's how I've made friends. I've learned a lot. And think about reading. You can do it on your own, but it is so much more fun when you discuss books with people you love. So I wanna talk about what we're gonna be doing and why it matters. So the book I picked was something very relevant to the topics of this podcast. the book is. Perfect is boring and tastes like kale. And I'm just gonna read a quick summary of the book so you get an idea of what it is, and I'll tell you why I picked it. the summary of the book says, what if we accepted our struggles and stop trying to be someone we're not in this poignant, hilarious book, the bestselling co-author of, I'll Be There, but I'll be wearing sweatpants, shares her experiments in finding our way back to each other. Jess Johnston used to feel alone in her mess. Then in a random burst of courage, she started sharing those insecurities and struggles out loud, and what she found shocked her again and again. Women replied. Me too. I thought I was the only one. Women are really hard on themselves. We often believed that if we just did better, worked harder and were less messy, flawed human, our lives would infinitely be better, and we'd receive the belonging we crave. But the exact opposite is true. It isn't our lack of perfection that isolates us. Rather, it's our authenticity about our imperfections that brings us together with honesty, heart, and humor. Johnston takes the lies she's believed and the lessons she's learned and is still learning, including if I'm rejected, I will die. We won't. I'm a junior varsity adult and the best spot for me is usually the bench. Nope, we've gotta get in there and play. My job is to keep people happy and make sure they like me, excuse me, while I go hide in the closet and have an anxiety attack. Jess Johnson reminds us that the answers are in us already, and accepting that we are a lot, a lot of mess and a lot of great too. So that's a summary of the book it captures so many of the things I've tried to cover as I've been talking and guests I've had about true authenticity and figuring out who we are and how we belong and just dealing through all of that, but really finding out that we're not alone. And we're not alone because you guys, it wouldn't be a book club if I didn't have some of my closest friends here to talk about the book with me. So I wanna introduce you to who I have joining me on this book club journey. And at the end of this episode, I'll tell you how that could be a part of something you could do. Let's introduce my guests, Kelly and Alexis. Hi Kelly. Hi. Hi, Alexis. Hi Kristen. Kelly and Alexis, I have known for years and years and they've been on the episodes before, but in case you haven't met them, I wanted them to each take a quick minute to introduce themselves and, maybe share some insecurity or something they're dealing with. So, who wants to go first?

Kelly: 4:00

Go ahead, Alexis.

Kristen: 4:02

Alexis, you're

Kelly: 4:03

up. Yay.

Alexis: 4:05

I volunteer you. Hey, that works too. my name is Alexis and I, live in Idaho my husband and I have been married for 17 years. We have five kids that I homeschool so I stay at home and homeschool them. Probably, insecurity, something that I'm dealing with. I recently reevaluated what I wanted my year to look like, what I wanted my life to look like in a lot of things. I had to set some boundaries. due to setting those boundaries, I unfortunately lost a job because I wasn't. Available to be around all the time, because that's just not healthy. I shouldn't have to be at my computer all the time So it's hard because, well, I do stay at home with my family you know, I've been able to do that for years, as we all know, the economy is awful. And so we really had to just tighten everything being one income. God is good and we're surviving, but it is an insecurity. And now I'm at this weird place of, do I try to find a job am I being lazy by just homeschooling my kids cooking every meal for them, keeping house going, teaching them to cook and all that. So it's kind of a weird place to be after working for somebody for many years Knowing I wasn't even like Harding ways for poor job performance, it was just because I set boundaries and said I cannot be available all this time. yeah.

Kristen: 5:43

Wow. That is, a lot to unpack there. but thank you for sharing with us, Alexis. I'm sure we will talk about that more as this goes on. So, Kelly, tell us a bit about you.

Kelly: 5:58

Hi guys. I'm Kelly and I live in Maine vacation land, except for six months out of the year when it's winter, right? Only

Kristen: 6:09

six months.

Kelly: 6:10

yeah, right. We had our first snowfall at Thanksgiving and we had some flurries last weekend, but I think we're pretty much done. So anyways, I work from home, a corporate job fulltime. And I also homeschool my son. we're finishing up first grade here in a few weeks and have been married to my husband for 10 and a half years, Insecurity I am currently dealing with. I decided to go out for our church worship team. growing up, in high school, I went to a private school and we competed in fine arts competitions I was always in vocal groups and Sang in my church quite a bit throughout high school, college, but it was very, very different from the church we're in now. It was just me and my best friends standing at the pulpit singing, with a piano playing. the church we're in now worship looks very different and, it's a lot more involved. they use click tracks to stay on tempo with everyone. I was really overwhelmed at that thought and put it off for a long time. it kept coming up in conversations with different people and I finally decided to go for it. I have a meeting with the worship director. Later this week, I feel very insecure about it. I haven't sang publicly in like a lot of years now. Wow. and so I'm kind of freaking out and like, you know, I think we're like way harder on ourselves than other people are on us.

Kristen: 7:47

Yes.

Kelly: 7:48

Despite the fact that we think other people are like being super hard on us. Mm-hmm. Yep. It's definitely kept me awake recently. Aw, thank you for sharing.

Alexis: 7:58

I just have to say I admire you for even being willing to get up and sing because I can't personally sing well, so I am so impressed.

Kelly: 8:07

we're already excited for you. I'm excited to get back into, I loved doing it before And so, it's gonna look very different than what I'm used to, but I'm excited

Kristen: 8:17

I love that. And I think that's a normal insecurity too. and like you said, the judging, I have a lot of insecurities. I don't have enough time to go through everything I'm insecure about. But I think the overarching one that I struggle with all the time is just feeling like I'm not good enough. I'm not a good enough mom. I'm not a good enough wife, I'm not a good enough worker. I'm not a good enough friend. it's all those voices in my head saying, you didn't do this, you didn't do that. Like, you are not enough. And I really struggle with that. So I am hopeful that at the end of reading the book and talking with you all maybe I will get over that a little bit. So, like you said, Kelly, I know a lot of it is just in my head and I am my own worst critic, Yeah, something I'm working with. what do you guys think about, the title of the book, speaking of, not being enough and not being Perfect, the title of the book is Perfect, is Boring and Tastes like Kale. What do you guys thought just straight up on the title?

Kelly: 9:17

I thought it was funny. I love anything that, you know, like speaking of insecurities, I try to laugh at myself to make myself feel better about things a lot of times. the title just automatically gave me that same vibe of you know, we might feel a little insecure about things, but it's okay, we can just laugh through some of it. things just are not always so serious. I like that she included that humor right there in the title. I think just in the introduction and what I've been able to get through with the book so far, that kind of goes right along with everything she says. things just don't have to be so serious,

Kristen: 9:59

So,

Alexis: 10:01

Alexis, I laughed when I first tried the title, but I really like the way that kale tastes, and I eat a lot of kale,

Kristen: 10:09

she didn't say it wasn't good. she's saying it's boring. Maybe.

Kelly: 10:12

I think she's saying that there's things that taste. More exciting than Kale? Yes. I dunno.

Alexis: 10:23

Yeah,

Kelly: 10:23

I

Alexis: 10:24

mean, I, I really do eat a lot of kale. I make kale chips a lot. I eat them, so I'm kind of weird. We'll just say I'm the weird one, Totally funny.

Kristen: 10:34

Well, thoughts on, you know, I read the summary at the beginning. Any thoughts on the summary or expectations that maybe you have or questions you have, like going into it? What are some of those things that you're thinking now at the beginning before we dive into reading the whole book?

Alexis: 10:50

So I am not one that typically reads books like this. Mm-hmm. And it's not like there's anything wrong with them. It's just not my personal. I necessarily love to read books like this. Maybe because I'd have to work on something and I don't always love to have the introspect because I feel like it's just another thing I have to work on, which is a whole, we can unpack that whole thought on of itself, but also I always am like weary, like weary of things to. Books like this to just excuse behavior that really is just lazy. I don't think that's the case with this, but I always have that in the back of my mind to think, but am I just going to use this as some excuse not to just dig in and do the hard stuff that we have to do in life, or is this really gonna help me? So I don't think after starting this that that's the case with this. But it is something that I always think about going into books like this, Those

Kristen: 11:53

are just my thoughts. and I think there are some self-help books like that where, it's maybe not even excusing the behaviors, but making excuses for why people do the things they do, even when they're not good things. And I don't have any great examples, but I get what you're saying where it's like, oh, it's okay if you do this because that's just how you are and don't worry about it. And actually. Science says that lots of people do this, I know I'm giving bad examples, but I get where you're saying that you don't want a book that's going to create excuses or normalize it

Alexis: 12:27

Right. Like something that you really should create a habit and do better in. Because that's what you need to do. I mean. I don't know. I just think of it. I, there's actually a lot of like parenting books that are like that and I'm just thinking, yeah, that's not helping the future generation. But I don't think that's the case so far as I'm getting into it. that's refreshing in and of itself, and I'm excited to open the possibilities of making room to. Lean into who you really are, rather than expectations you think you should be or society is putting on you.

Kelly: 13:04

Yeah. I like Alexis. I don't typically read books like this either. not necessarily for any one specific reason. if I'm gonna read. I typically am reading fiction, psycho thrillers. That's my thing. I had some of those same thoughts going into it like, I have read some, self-help books, where it is a lot of fluff, I'll call it. Feel good. You are fine. You don't need to be better. You don't need to change anything. It's okay. I'm just gonna make up this example. I haven't actually read this in a book, but I'm thinking, it's okay if you have this habit of doom scrolling on your phone, on social media all the time. That's normal. Everyone does it. Don't feel bad about it. books like that excusing behaviors, kinda like you said. so I was like, okay, what's this really gonna be about? But I haven't gotten that far in, but I'm not getting those vibes. Mm-hmm. That's cool.. so far, like what I have listened to, I'm doing audio. I'm hoping that, and I don't know exactly where the book's gonna take us, but I'm hoping it's instead of excusing poor behavior, more so focused, kind of like Alexis said, I'm just like being more comfortable in our own little quirks. Yeah. Because I think that is something that we, especially as women, struggle with, feeling like we have to portray ourselves a certain way. Yes. with the insecurities and us being our worst critics, I'm hoping we'll dive into that throughout the book It's not that serious. People aren't criticizing you the way that you think they are. a lot of times people aren't even thinking about the things that we are critiquing ourselves over

Kristen: 15:00

we see all the things we don't like about ourselves or see things that we wish we could change and we kind of hone in on them. But most people don't even see that and don't even give us a second thought. if we're walking down the street and we're like, oh my gosh, they're gonna be judging what I'm wearing or how I look, people probably aren't even noticing you. they're all focused on themselves and you may think that they're judging you because maybe you judge other people. So you're projecting that Because I know I do that a lot. this is something I struggle with. Like, oh, they're watching me. Oh, they're thinking this outfit makes me look too fat. Oh, they're wondering why I am walking the way I am, stupid stuff like that. in my head, I know nobody's paying attention or thinking those things. And if they are, it doesn't matter because it's still me and I'm okay with it. But again, all those insecurities, I get it.

Kelly: 15:47

It's funny because I know in my head that I'm not criticizing people for things, but in my head I'm like, they're thinking that about me. for Easter this weekend, I wore something like that's just completely. Different for me, but I was like, I'm gonna branch out here. Like I am the one who I'm always in like skinny jeans or legging. Mm-hmm. Forever. I'm millennial in my skinny jeans. Not gonna apologize

Kristen: 16:16

for it,

Kelly: 16:18

but I got these flowy linen pants and wore them, I have to say they're very comfortable, but I was very insecure because it's outside of my normal style. And my son said they looked like fat pants. He was like, I'm not telling you that you look fat. I'm saying that the pants are fat. In his mind, he's trying to say that like the Yes. They were like, you know, like wide legs. Yeah. Lowy. And he only sees me in like skinny jeans, the legging. So like the pants look fat to him. I get it. I wore that and in my head I'm like. Everyone's looking at me. They're thinking, what is she doing wearing that? why is she in fat pants for Easter? I couldn't even tell you what most people had on this weekend at church. Like, I'm not thinking about it, you know? But in my head, everyone was staring at my outfit.

Kristen: 17:13

That's so funny. Also, you have to send a picture of you in your fat pants so we can post it for

Kelly: 17:19

everyone. Great. Perfect.

Alexis: 17:26

Oh, that's too funny. I think we can all relate to that though. I think that's just like a whole girl thing. Even like I was thinking about this with swimsuits I mean, I am not what I was in my. Teens or twenties, But then I think about it and I admire those women who are not society standards of like the magazine covers and they're out there rocking their bikinis and I'm like, oh, you go like, I could not do that, but I applaud you and I am proud of you because. You really get it. And I need to get where you are.

Kristen: 18:01

I try so hard with that'cause I struggle with that. you've probably seen the things on social media where it's like, it's more about being of my kids and it's not about what I look like. everybody is a bikini body. You just put it on so you can get in the pool and play with your kids. I get that. Like I support that. I do that and I will even, The word fake comes to mind. It sounds worse, but like fake that I'm confident. I'll wear my bathing suit get in the pool and have a great time And then afterwards, if I see pictures of myself, I'm like, Ugh. Is that really what I look like? Well, my kid doesn't care what I look Like I am out there having fun. My friends don't care what I look like because they're not my friends, because of how skinny or not. It's more on the knot side. I look in a bathing suit, like it's because of my stunning personality and my sense of humor and my wit, and wisdom. that's why people are my friends. I think that's why you guys are my friends, right? but you're right. nobody cares what you look like in a bathing suit because they're also focused about thinking about what they look like in a bathing suit.

Kelly: 19:01

Yeah, it's

Kristen: 19:02

true.

Kelly: 19:03

So true.

Kristen: 19:05

It's hard, but it's true. That's a great example. So guys, I'm gonna read to you the chapter titles, and I'll go slowly so you can hear them all. let me know which ones come out that you're either most excited about or you think might resonate with you. there's 14, so I'll go slowly. Line number one today, I'll be perfect. Line number two. I have to keep up with the Kardashians and also my neighbor, Tammy, lie number three, they forgot my name again and I think I might actually be invisible. Lie number four, I'm going to need to shrink, suck it all in, quiet down, and possibly disappear. Lie number five. Pretending to be fine is the same thing as being fine. Line number six. If I'm rejected, I will die. Lie number seven, my job is to keep people happy and make sure they like me. Lie Number eight, neighbors are weird. Lie number nine. Asking for help is a terrible idea because then everyone is going to know I need help. Lie number 10, I'm a junior varsity adult and the best spot for me is usually the bench. Lie number 11, it's better not to try than to mess up in front of everyone. Lie number 12, I can't do that because no one does that lie. Number 13, if I can't go big, I should just go home and the final lie, lie number 14. It's better to dream small because then I won't be disappointed. Now, just let this sink in for a minute. First question. Have you thought any of those things before? Yeah. Any of them. Yeah. Right. Like even as I'm reading them out loud, I'm like, oh, that one. Oh, that one. Oh, that one too. which ones of them kind of resonated or feel like kind of aligned to where you're at? I'll go first if that makes you feel better. not in any order. The ones that got me. my job is to keep people happy, make sure they like me. asking for help is terrible. It's better to try than to not mess up. I think those are the ones that are really bad. Oh, and pretending to be fine is the same thing as being fine. It's fine. I'm fine. Everything's fine. What about you

Kelly: 21:37

guys? go ahead Alyssa.

Alexis: 21:38

Kristen, I probably have almost the exact same ones. We could probably add a couple more I'm laughing because the neighbors are weird kind of thing. I say that my neighbors are weird. There may be some truth to that one. what's that one gonna be about? Because there is some, you know, like there's some things, but then I just think, whatever, let them do what they wanna do because I'm gonna do what I wanna do. But man, we, there's a lot, and I think there's a lot of overlap with what you and I had. the biggest one is 11. It's better not to try. Then to mess up in front of everyone. I mean, yeah, that's mutual tea. I will not, I should be, should have been like an etiquette school where you have to be all prim and proper and cannot be goofy or act out anywhere because heaven forbid anybody look at me and think that I'm messing up or doing something weird.

Kristen: 22:36

Right. Kelly's already conquering that one because she's gonna be on the worship team and she is gonna do it in front of everybody. Yeah, but be amazing.

Kelly: 22:47

I'm gonna wear my, for my, why not just throw an extra insecurity in there. I think we need videos of this. our services are live streamed, Perfect.

Alexis: 22:58

I love that. I'm cheering you on. I won't be thinking anything funny. I'll just cheering on. It'll

Kelly: 23:04

be good. It'll be good. You're gonna be like, look at those fan wearing. Best fat pants ever. He tried to make me feel even better. He was like, no, you're not fat. I'm talking about the pants. If I wore those pants, mommy, I would probably look really fat too.

Kristen: 23:24

Let's

Kelly: 23:24

just not try to make this better. You're making it worse. Oh, anyways, so number one. It stuck out to me because I feel like I go through this never ending cycle all the time where I go to bed at night, I reflect on my day, I think about where I failed. And how I could have done this better and I could have been better here and I could have responded to my son better, you know, in this situation or whatever. And so then I think, okay, tomorrow. I'm gonna do better with this, this, this, and this. And then the next day comes and with best of intentions, I will fail in one way or another. it's just a cycle because then I get really hard on myself for having failed in whatever area. after a little while of trying and failing, I think, what's the point? And then I get into these ruts where I just am like, this is as good as it gets. I'm a terrible mother. I'm a terrible wife. I'm a terrible employee, whatever the case may be. and then I'll try to pull myself out of it. I'm like, okay, I can do this. And then, it's just the same cycle of like, tomorrow I'm gonna do. better So that one immediately stuck out to me.

Kristen: 24:53

that one is the overarching, one of all the other things, because if I were perfect, then none of these other things would bother me because I would already be perfect, but I'm not.

Kelly: 25:04

Right.

Kristen: 25:05

And that's okay. Because nobody wants to be perfect and taste like kale, except for Alexis who loves kale. And that's okay too.

Kelly: 25:14

Yeah. The rest of us wanna taste like buffalo chicken over here, but not Alexis. Or like a pizza.

Alexis: 25:20

And you wanna laugh? I like neither one of those things. I really don't like pizza and I definitely don't like buffalo chicken. we can

Kristen: 25:28

laugh at this. Even more allows for me. No. Okay. let's combine them then Alexis, to something you'll hate even more. Kelly and I are all over a buffalo chicken pizza. Yes. The last time I was at Kelly's house, that's what we had

Alexis: 25:43

You feel like my kids that want barbecue chicken pizza. I get that too. Oh, it's so good.

Kelly: 25:50

Gross. Anything? Anything? Buffalo. I'm there. Jeff birthday is Thursday and he has requested like I make every year for his birthday, Buffalo Chicken Alfredo.

Alexis: 26:00

Mm. Alfred and Buffalo Chicken shouldn't be mixed together. That alone, they

Kelly: 26:06

should. Alfred

Kristen: 26:09

creaminess of it like.

Kelly: 26:11

So good. Mm-hmm. I'll take your

Alexis: 26:13

word for it. I will probably never experiment, but if I come visit and you make it, I will gladly eat it and give you my honest, nice opinion. She'll be like, this should really have a side of

Kristen: 26:25

kale with it. Like, where's

Alexis: 26:26

the

Kelly: 26:27

kale? Yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna tell her by making a side of kale's with it for his birthday and what he says.

Kristen: 26:35

He'll be like divorce papers. It's been a fun 10 years

Kelly: 26:39

allowed sister, her friends.

Kristen: 26:42

Fine, Jeff. So back on track. I think we can agree that this book is for us I wanted to read a highlight from the book because, in thinking about like, who's this book for, like who would wanna join our book club? Who wants to talk? Who wants to read this book? Who wants to be a part of it? I wanted to share this part from the introduction too. this book is for every girl who has ever scribbled in her diary, I don't know what's wrong with me. It's for every mom who has ever thrown her hands up into despair saying, I try so hard and I can't seem to get it right. It's for anyone who's felt like an outsider, unsure how she'd ever get in, it's for every girl who's ever gone on a crash diet trying to be a sigh, she had no business being. It's for every woman who has ever gone through a breakup and thought it was because she was too. It's for every girl who has ever snapped at her family and melted into a public of shame thinking, why can't I just get it together? It's also for a special, slightly more specialized group. Spoiler me, the kind who manages to lose their keys 20 times a week. It's for all of us. And that's what Jess wrote in the introduction, which I feel is very poignant. I'm pretty sure I have been most of those girls that she mentions in that paragraph. I've written in my diary that I have felt like an outsider. I've gone on crash diets. gone through a breakup or friend or relationship wise and thought it was my fault. Like it's because I'm too whatever. I snapped at my family. so that's me. How about you guys?

Kelly: 28:16

A lot of the things you were reading there, I was like, Same.

Alexis: 28:19

I can relate I'm, not a writer, so I've never journaled or written in a diary, which I know sounds kind of weird, But I think about these things a lot and like goals and maybe make more like plan or goals. they would be more in my planner goal thing. I can relate to so much of that.

Kristen: 28:38

Alexis, I think you took some notes through the intro too. Were there any quotes that stuck out to you that you'd wanna share?

Alexis: 28:46

So the first one we compare, way too much. And social media has not helped us in that area. And I know Kristen, we've discussed this a lot. Mm-hmm. well, when we've done podcasts and social media just portrays these things and I think it's done such a disservice to. the later generations. I don't know, as millennials we've kind of grown into it, but I see it so much more among the younger generations. there's such a comparison and the need to do what everybody else is doing on social media. I really think it has been detrimental, in that regard. that was my first one that I really liked. And then I really liked this paragraph. What if I flipped the script? And this wasn't actually a thing. What if life was for trying out stuff, breaking out in random dances and making mistakes and much rather life be more like a trampoline park where tripping and falling just adds to the fun. I really like that because. It kind of gave like a, where you could make mistakes and just do those things there is no way that I would just break out in a random dance because somebody might see me and I might make a mistake. So I just really liked that and it stuck with me I wish there was room for that and I need to make more room for that.

Kristen: 30:16

I highlighted that line too, and I love that because I also don't break out in random dance, but I wish that I could, like I have joke with people that I wish real life was like a musical in musicals there's a song for everything that happens and the entire cast jumps into song and dance for the littlest thing that's going on. I would love for my life to be a musical. That's one of my dreams in life. The whole world is a musical. the thought of it being a trampoline park, you know, and Kelly, you mentioned earlier about how even the title is kind of funny and you like to laugh at yourself and do things like that. Like what if life were more like that, where we didn't take ourselves so seriously and we're just hopping along, trampolines, bouncing from one to the next, flipping falling. what if it could be like that?

Kelly: 31:03

when we're kids, we are so much more like that. Like talking about breaking out into random dance. My son does that all the time in the store and I try to never make him feel silly for that because I hope that lasts for a long time for him, and I don't ever wanna make him feel like he should be. Insecure for doing those things. he did it today. We went over to my friend's house and we're standing in our kitchen and all of a sudden he's just dancing I wish we could all have that mindset of just not caring. obviously within reason,

Kristen: 31:42

be safe, but

Kelly: 31:44

let's not be gross and not care, just, you know, silly. So yeah, it's interest. We start that way and then at some point we start gaining all of these insecurities and fears of what other people are thinking of us.

Alexis: 32:04

It's really interesting that you say your kids do that. even as a kid, I did not do things like this. we would go to the store and my sisters would be insane, and I would get so mad at them because I felt like, and I was young, I was only 6, 7, 8, and they were doing stuff and I would get so mad because I felt like they were drawing attention to us and I didn't like it. So maybe I just have an issue, but I have always been like that, so it's weird. Let's not draw attention to ourselves. Let's act appropriately. And dancing is not appropriate, which, okay, I know that's not the case, but as a kid, that's how I felt. it's just really hard for me.

Kristen: 32:45

It's funny because as I'm saying, like, oh no, I wouldn't do that. And then Kelly, you gave your example about your son. I'm like, oh wait. But I do that all the time. we'll be at Walmart, and Walmart has a very good soundtrack like Walmart Radio, love it. They play all the jams that I love. And I will often find myself moving to the music while we're in an aisle. I mean, not like all out dancing, but my husband will get so mad at me, he'll be like, what are you doing? Stop that. and it's not like I'm dancing through the aisles, but my body feels the music and I am just moving with it. And then all of a sudden you're saying that and I'm like, oh, but I don't. Care as much what people at Walmart think about me mostly.'cause I don't know most of them. Although we're in a small town, I almost always see at least one person I know when I go to Walmart. maybe I need to treat my life more like Walmart and dancing at Walmart where I don't care what people think.

Alexis: 33:34

I wish I could be like that. Even my husband is a big just way out dance and I'm almost embarrassed for him. I'm like, oh, don't do that. and that's what was terrible as I say that. But I just learned to laugh. Usually I just laugh and he'll try to grab me Dancing is not my forte. Maybe we could just have it be something different.

Kristen: 33:51

Maybe. Would you prefer him to sing? Could he sing Burst out into song? Maybe you should just break out and song instead.

Kelly: 33:58

That still

Alexis: 33:59

supports my make the world of musical. Oh yeah. we could both sing This might, there actually might be something more going on with this. I think I've told you about this, Kristen, where I have auditory processing issue and I've had it since I was a kid sometimes people that have what I have, they don't enjoy music. They don't enjoy that. They actually are tone deaf. You can't sing. That probably has something to do with it because I really don't like music. I would rather listen to an audiobook or a podcast or not have music. Even when I used midwives to for my birth, and my midwives would be like, well, don't you wanna play music? And my husband's like, don't even play music. She's just gonna get irritated. So it might have something to do with that. And, that's really just. A brain issue. That's probably just something with me, but even if it was just being silly and loud and crazy, I would struggle with it. I think at certain points in my life I've done better. and I do better now that I have kids and I can be around kids and their silly and goofiness.

Kristen: 35:05

I think that's all very interesting. I know you had talked about the auditory thing, but I didn't realize that the whole music thing and the way that is. That's really interesting. Well guys, going forward, I know everyone is like, okay, this sounds really great. I wanna read the book. How can I be a part of it? here's where I tell you how. the book naturally breaks itself into three parts. part one, part two, part three, and the 14 lies are through all of it. So we are going to separate it and go into those three main parts, one per week and then we'll discuss it. So where we're at right now, today is May 7th, So you're gonna listen to this episode today and this week you are going to read part one. Which is lies one through five. then we're going to talk about those chapters next week on May 14th. So May 14th, you'll listen to episode two, but that week you're gonna read part two, lies six through Nine. Then the next week, May 21st, our third episode. You're going to listen to that episode on the 21st, and that week you're gonna be reading Lies 10 through 14. that's gonna wrap up the end of the book. So then our May 28th episode, we'll talk about that part and kind of some final thoughts. I am working with some ideas for a super special finale, afterwards. details to follow on that one. That's how it's gonna work for reading and listening to keep everybody involved. you wanna know how to be involved. since we're gonna be reading the book together and talking about the week after, this should give some time for if there's something you read that you, I. Think, you wanna talk about, you can send me an email, talk with Kristen with an e@gmail.com. You can message me on Facebook, you can go to the Facebook page there. You can DM me on Instagram, however you wanna do, but also also new and exciting. there is a Google form. You can go to the links in my bio. where you can go and you can give your name optional. you can say which part you are commenting on. Throw your comments in the text box. Let me know if you want me to share it with your name, share it without your name or not share it. You just wanted to tell it to me. That's fine too. I will be respectful of however you wanna do that. but that way if you don't want to go all in on one of the platforms, there is a way where you can just reach out and put your information in anonymously too, if that's something you would like to do. Kelly and Alexis are gonna be along with us on this journey. if you have comments for Kelly and Alexis, you can send them to me and I am happy to share with them also. And, we're looking forward to having everybody on this journey. before we wrap up this initial. Club episode. Any final thoughts from the two of you, or any questions you guys have of how we're gonna do this? Because this is the first time we've done something like this. We're trying it out, see how it's gonna work.

Alexis: 38:10

I am really excited for a book club because I love reading and I wanted to do book club forever, so I'm excited for this and I actually hope it goes really well so we can do more of them, even if they're self-help books because maybe I need more self-help books.

Kelly: 38:28

Yeah, I'm excited too. I used to be in a book club and I haven't been for like a year and a half now, I'm excited to get back to reading something and then discussing with people. It's gonna be fun.

Kristen: 38:41

I am excited too, because, this has been a long time in the works because Kelly Alexis and I had talked about doing a book club over a year ago now. Or was it a year ago? Well, we were gonna do it on The Nightingale, right?

Kelly: 38:54

Yeah. we all read it and like we, you know, like attempted. Pretend we were gonna have a conversation about it, and it just never

Kristen: 39:01

happened. it took a minute because we were all at different places. Like one of us we're like, okay, we're gonna read it and then like, oh, I've gotta read this other book for a book club. And then oh, I don't have the book yet. it was back and forth. we finally all read it. We're like, all right, let's do this. But then like life happened and we never got around to it. And then Frozen River, which one of you read that first? Kelly. Was it you?

Kelly: 39:21

I read that, oh goodness, when did I read it? I think it was like early fall last year or maybe end of summer,

Kristen: 39:30

He probably recommended it to me and then I'm like, oh my gosh, we have to get together and do this because fun story, Kelly and Alexis have never met. Alexis is my friend from college. Kelly is my sister-in-law, and they have so many things in common They're both working from home. They both homeschool, they both know me. They both read the same kind of books, like it was like a match made in heaven. I'm like, oh my gosh, you guys have to be friends. So we're doing this now and I'm so excited I think it's great to start with this book, but I am also open to other books it's gonna be a great time.

Alexis: 40:03

we already have a couple books like we've read. We can do book club for a couple more and bring along more people to join us. Yes,

Kristen: 40:11

it'd be fantastic. On or off the podcast. I mean, it'll be great. We'll get a whole thing going the talk with Kristen with an book club and then read with Kristen with an evil show up too, because like she is everywhere all the time. With Talk with Chris. It's bizarre to have these two hang out all the time. All right, guys. this has been fantastic. Anything you wanna say to the listeners, people out there? Is there anything that you would wanna say to encourage them to join our virtual book club, or share with them about being a part of this and discussing it? Any thoughts on that?

Kelly: 40:46

I think they're fun. So I think everyone should want to listen and read along with us. before I was ever in a book club, I never really understood the hype over it. but then I was in one and it actually is so fun. If you like reading, if you don't like reading, then maybe not. But audio books are always an option if sitting and reading a book is not your thing, so you can still participate. And it is actually so fun to be reading the same material and then discussing it with people.

Kristen: 41:15

Mm-hmm. I'm hoping too that even if people don't want to read it, just by listening to us, they'll be able to learn and get something from it too, so that it'll still be valuable. So maybe it's almost like secondhand reading, like we'll read it. Mm-hmm. And then as we're talking about it, people can learn some of the truths from that, that may help them be their true, authentic self and not feel the need to be quote unquote. Perfect.

Kelly: 41:40

Agreed.

Alexis: 41:41

Alexis? I would encourage people to pick up a book and read if you don't already have a habit of reading. Best thing I ever did was delete my subscriptions for Netflix and start picking up a book and reading, you know, 15 minutes a day. pretty soon I was reading, an hour before bedtime and it was the best thing I have done I read a lot of fluff books, but I also read some other good books. But just doing that got me off doom scrolling on, social media it also spurred a love of reading to my kids. They weren't big readers before that. now, we can all be found on the couch with our nose and. So I recommend, even if you don't join Book Club, but just Billy, come join us. Pick up a book and read because there's so many amazing stories in a found in a book.

Kristen: 42:35

Love it. This is where we cue the reading Rainbow music. True. I look in a book. okay, final question and then I promise we'll be done. Kelly, I heard you say that you are listening to this book. So you've got the audiobook? Yes. I am doing an ebook. So I've got it on my Kindle. And Alexis, how are you reading the book?

Alexis: 42:59

On my Kindle is an ebook because, well, you can't do a physical book, although I did pick up one from the free little library from my walk the other day. And I'm trying it, it might be the first physical book I've read in two years. Outside of school books, because our school books are all. Physical, but a personal book that I'm reading, if that makes sense.

Kristen: 43:20

So we'll compare that to how the digital book and the audio book differ or how we feel we're learning from it. thank you so much for joining and listeners hope that you'll read along and we'll meet with you next week to talk about part one. All right. Bye guys.